Monotony in Life and Love

Dear Love Lawyer,

I’m in a rut. Everything about my life is monotonous. Dull. Dismal. Blah. 

More than anything, I hate my job. It’s boring. I dream of being something like a New York City traffic ticket lawyer! At least they’re chasing cars through the streets all day. But no, I’m a copyright lawyer. The most boring type of lawyer there is. And, you know what goes along with being a boring copyright lawyer? Having no social life and a nonexistent love life.

I think when I signed the agreement for my job, there was fine print I missed saying, “you’ll never have a relationship again,” which is ironic because you’d think I’d notice that detail being a copyright lawyer. . .  but all jokes aside, HELP ME! I know you can’t change my career, but if I have to handle that part on my own, can you at least give me advice on how to find a woman?

I’m thirty-eight years old and never leave the house. I think the monotony of my job seeps over into the rest of my life. I don’t know how to crawl out of the rut I’m in and feel excited and hopeful about the future. I hope you have some ideas.

In Desperate Need,

Monotonous Man


Dear Monotonous Man, 

I’m so sorry to hear about this dismal job of yours. I know you didn’t ask for my advice on the job situation, but I will give it anyway because your letter screamed for guidance. QUIT YOUR JOB! You don’t have to work the boring, awful, miserable job you speak of. You’re a lawyer! You’re certified to practice law and you can change your course and practice another type of law if you choose.

While a traffic ticket lawyer is a reach, you could veer out of copyright law and focus more on civil law. Do your research and see what else is out there. You may find that your company is making you unhappy and another firm could change your perspective on copyright law all together! When you spend so much time at work each day, it’s important to be happy in what you do.

Okay, rant over. Now, onto your love life. It’s essential that you separate the monotony of your job from the rest of your life. Try to look forward to the free time you have outside of work and make it as exciting as possible. I know it’s easy to get stuck in a rut, go home each day, and be antisocial, but if you force yourself out of your comfort zone, you’ll begin to enjoy the company of others again soon.

Start slowly by hanging out with friends and then go on dates. As you emerge from your comfort zone, it’ll become easier. You’ll get more excited about being around women, and you may find that your life is less dull than you think. In fact, you may realize that your life is downright exciting.

I wish you all the best in your journey. You’re not monotonous, man. You’re magnificent!

With my best, 

Love Lawyer