Dear Love Lawyer,
Five years ago, I was injured in a terrible car accident and now I’m really struggling with dating. I’ve made a full recovery from my accident but it’s taken a lot of work to get me where I am today. After my car accident, I spoke to a PTSD lawyer and received a hefty settlement. That settlement money helped me through recovery. I’ve gone to therapy to cure my PTSD, but I still can’t seem to find love.
I wanted to reach out to you because I figured you had experience working with car accident victims. Do you think my car accident has something to do with why I’m still struggling to find connection? I can’t seem to pinpoint what it is that’s getting in the way. I feel scared that something will go wrong. I often sabotage my own relationships. I can’t remember if I was like this before the car accident, but I know that I’m more desperate now to find a partner.
Do you have any advice for someone like me?
Confused and Alone
Dear Confused and Alone,
It sounds like you’ve had a rough go the past few years. Struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder can definitely affect your relationships. It’s possible that you can’t find love because you need to do more work on yourself first. But one thing I’ve noticed from your letter is how focused you are on your problems.
Sometimes, when you embrace the victim mentality and fight too hard to get something, it can be even harder than you think to get that thing you want so badly. In simpler terms, love often finds you when you aren’t looking. My suggestion would be to do the inner work. Try to let go of the car accident and release yourself from the mentality of being a victim.
If you can move forward in life without that experience holding you back, you can step into a life untouched by the past. Then, you can embrace whatever comes your way. Instead of desperately searching for love, you can live your life to the fullest and accept all sorts of relationships. Friendships may lead to intimate relationships. Business connections are also positive. Never say no to a new relationship because it can all be beneficial.
I can’t do the work for you, I can only give you the advice. I hope this insight helps you and I look forward to your future growth.
With My Best,